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So I get up at about 6:20 this morning. I'm supposed to be at my babysittee's house at 7:00. Okay...so it's freaking 7:07 and she calls: "Why aren't you here yet?" I almost exploded. I wanted to say: "You're freaking 12 years old! You should be able to take care of yourself! Half the times I get there that early you're still asleep anyway!" And this morning...her dad was there! He didn't leave until 12 something. I mean...I can understand her loneliness. Her mom leaves the house at 6 and gets back at 4. She's an only child and is bored during the entire day usually. And I understand that kids want something to do. And nobody's there to take her anywhere unless she has a babysitter. And I wouldn't be so mad if she didn't make me get up there at freaking 7 in the morning. And the girl will wake up, at the latest, 8. I'm like, "SLEEEP! If you're so bored...you can at LEAST knock off a couple hours by sleeping later." Heh. But at least I'm getting paid to do it this summer...at least I've got SOME job...and don't get me wrong, she's a sweet girl and very polite...but some things just get on my nerves.
Anyway...I took her and her cousin swimming today. They had fun. I always want the kids I'm watching/babysitting to have fun, 'cause if they're bored when *I'm* there...I feel kinda bad. I mean, I like kids...and kids love me. I'm good with them. So if they're bored and aren't having a good time, I feel responsible.
I came home and took a nap. A three hour nap. I had THEE WORST dream. Well, one of the worst dreams. I woke up in a cold sweat. A VERY cold sweat. I was FREEEEEZING. I always wake up in cold sweats after bad dreams...but this cold sweat was really bad. I got out of bed because mom had supper still on the counter...and I just couldn't get warm. Finally I took a hot shower and it felt really good.
Jared called...just to tell me he loved me. I love when he does that. :)
And now I am online. I am inquiring about the band Beloved, who Carroll says are screamo...metal/emo. I'm wondering if I'll like them. I liked what the guy from indievisionmusic.com described their new CD as.
I am so analystic about mentionings of sex because I'm always afraid they're going to be in the wrong context and will make God mad or something. So I worry about it all the time...and I'm always analyzing whether Jared and I are doing something wrong in the relationship. I don't think we are, necessarily...but that doesn't mean I don't analyze the things we talk about and how we talk about them and if anything we're saying shouldn't be said at the time or shouldn't be discussed at all now and et cetera. I mean, don't get me wrong...it's not like we're talking about anything bad...it's just...I don't know...*sigh*...maybe I do think things are sin that really aren't. I struggle so much within gray areas...and I always ask forgiveness from God when I do something in a gray area and feel guilty for it. I still don't know if my guilt is convicted by the Holy Spirit or only myself, therefore not being a sin. But I'm never sure. So half the time I don't know if I'm doing/saying something I shouldn't or not. I think this might get on Jared's nerves.
G'bye.
Anyway...I took her and her cousin swimming today. They had fun. I always want the kids I'm watching/babysitting to have fun, 'cause if they're bored when *I'm* there...I feel kinda bad. I mean, I like kids...and kids love me. I'm good with them. So if they're bored and aren't having a good time, I feel responsible.
I came home and took a nap. A three hour nap. I had THEE WORST dream. Well, one of the worst dreams. I woke up in a cold sweat. A VERY cold sweat. I was FREEEEEZING. I always wake up in cold sweats after bad dreams...but this cold sweat was really bad. I got out of bed because mom had supper still on the counter...and I just couldn't get warm. Finally I took a hot shower and it felt really good.
Jared called...just to tell me he loved me. I love when he does that. :)
And now I am online. I am inquiring about the band Beloved, who Carroll says are screamo...metal/emo. I'm wondering if I'll like them. I liked what the guy from indievisionmusic.com described their new CD as.
I am so analystic about mentionings of sex because I'm always afraid they're going to be in the wrong context and will make God mad or something. So I worry about it all the time...and I'm always analyzing whether Jared and I are doing something wrong in the relationship. I don't think we are, necessarily...but that doesn't mean I don't analyze the things we talk about and how we talk about them and if anything we're saying shouldn't be said at the time or shouldn't be discussed at all now and et cetera. I mean, don't get me wrong...it's not like we're talking about anything bad...it's just...I don't know...*sigh*...maybe I do think things are sin that really aren't. I struggle so much within gray areas...and I always ask forgiveness from God when I do something in a gray area and feel guilty for it. I still don't know if my guilt is convicted by the Holy Spirit or only myself, therefore not being a sin. But I'm never sure. So half the time I don't know if I'm doing/saying something I shouldn't or not. I think this might get on Jared's nerves.
G'bye.
