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Sep. 8th, 2003 09:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hot_foot_stephI am so confused. SO confused.
I just read the first chapter in my Intro to Psychology book. It was titled "What makes psychology a science?" And I'm just confused I guess. I'm confused on who God is.
Dammit, I'm just...so CONFUSED. I cannot settle down and relax when I feel as though my very beliefs and salvation are in jeopardy.
Who's right, dude?
Why did God give us a brain?
What is truth? Seriously. What is the definition of truth and how can ANYTHING really be truth if skeptics question facts as well? 'Cause if they question facts, they have to question science. What is science? Our journey to the mind of God? So why does it lead some people away from God? Why did the people of Paleolithic, etc. times have the instinct of there being a higher power? How come now, people who don't believe there is a God deny it?
Is it WRONG to believe in God blindly? Is it WRONG to close the mind off to all these swirling psychological thoughts and just be like "I BELIEVE AND I DON'T KNOW WHY!"? Is it BAD to be ignorant by choice? 'Cause that's what I'm doing right now. No, I'm not being ignorant...I'm just scared to learn. Shows how much freaking faith STEPHANIE has. "I'm too scared that the more I learn the more my faith will be discredited within me." How freaking messed UP is that? I'm AFRAID of learning. I want to learn, but I'm afraid of it. What does this tell you?
Am I a blind believer? If I'm blind, does that REALLY make me a believer? What IS a believer? How much faith is enough? Is salvation REALLY ultimately God's choice or not?
If every human can have different opinions shaped by their experiences, who brings about experiences? Experiences aren't in the head. So psychology HAS to connect with SOME sort of "outside force." Maybe?
I am going, literally, insane. I can't relax to save my life. If I'm not secure that I am going to be in Heaven with Jesus (who I struggle with so much unbelief in, dammit), I canNOT relax no matter WHAT you tell me. People who are experts in knowing how to cope with stress and crap like that...they WON'T be able to help me if this is my primary concern. 'Cause what CAN help you unless someone convinces you you're saved? And who can do that? Who but God can convince you? And what if he doesn't seem to be doing that at the time? How am I supposed to KNOW there is a God? How am I supposed to KNOW I am saved? How...do...I...KNOW? And what if there's a different god up there?
Do I believe blindly? Partially, yes.
Dude, I suck.
Nothing can calm me down right now. Except for maybe other people. Perhaps I should go...find somebody. I'm in my dorm room alone.
This SUCKS dude. I HATE life if I am not convinced of an afterlife with the God of the Bible. So either this means He DOES exist for why ELSE would I be like this, or that I have been brainwashed.
Which...is...it?
I just read the first chapter in my Intro to Psychology book. It was titled "What makes psychology a science?" And I'm just confused I guess. I'm confused on who God is.
Dammit, I'm just...so CONFUSED. I cannot settle down and relax when I feel as though my very beliefs and salvation are in jeopardy.
Who's right, dude?
Why did God give us a brain?
What is truth? Seriously. What is the definition of truth and how can ANYTHING really be truth if skeptics question facts as well? 'Cause if they question facts, they have to question science. What is science? Our journey to the mind of God? So why does it lead some people away from God? Why did the people of Paleolithic, etc. times have the instinct of there being a higher power? How come now, people who don't believe there is a God deny it?
Is it WRONG to believe in God blindly? Is it WRONG to close the mind off to all these swirling psychological thoughts and just be like "I BELIEVE AND I DON'T KNOW WHY!"? Is it BAD to be ignorant by choice? 'Cause that's what I'm doing right now. No, I'm not being ignorant...I'm just scared to learn. Shows how much freaking faith STEPHANIE has. "I'm too scared that the more I learn the more my faith will be discredited within me." How freaking messed UP is that? I'm AFRAID of learning. I want to learn, but I'm afraid of it. What does this tell you?
Am I a blind believer? If I'm blind, does that REALLY make me a believer? What IS a believer? How much faith is enough? Is salvation REALLY ultimately God's choice or not?
If every human can have different opinions shaped by their experiences, who brings about experiences? Experiences aren't in the head. So psychology HAS to connect with SOME sort of "outside force." Maybe?
I am going, literally, insane. I can't relax to save my life. If I'm not secure that I am going to be in Heaven with Jesus (who I struggle with so much unbelief in, dammit), I canNOT relax no matter WHAT you tell me. People who are experts in knowing how to cope with stress and crap like that...they WON'T be able to help me if this is my primary concern. 'Cause what CAN help you unless someone convinces you you're saved? And who can do that? Who but God can convince you? And what if he doesn't seem to be doing that at the time? How am I supposed to KNOW there is a God? How am I supposed to KNOW I am saved? How...do...I...KNOW? And what if there's a different god up there?
Do I believe blindly? Partially, yes.
Dude, I suck.
Nothing can calm me down right now. Except for maybe other people. Perhaps I should go...find somebody. I'm in my dorm room alone.
This SUCKS dude. I HATE life if I am not convinced of an afterlife with the God of the Bible. So either this means He DOES exist for why ELSE would I be like this, or that I have been brainwashed.
Which...is...it?
A mystery left unsolved...
Date: 2003-09-09 05:41 pm (UTC)Alot of this, okay most of this, is just theory I have been working on while reading the Bible myself and trying to make sense of it all. It is likely that God went on creating after Adam and Eve and populated the world thus, then Adam and Eve were made part of it upon banishment from Eden. I have no scripture to back this up, no educated writings to support this argument, this is merely something I am working on myself.
An English professor once told me of a theory on where all the water for the Flood came from: there was like a second atmosphere above the Earth and on top of this, a massive ocean covering the world. (Genesis: "created a firmament in the heavens"? maybe?) This would've created a highly oxygenated enviroment, thus granting long life to creatures that populated the world below; perhpas why human lifespans seemed to shorten so much after the Flood, while they were much longer beforehand. When the time for the Flood came, God simply pricked a hole in that second atmosphere (metaphorically speaking) and it all rained down and washed away.
Again, not necessarily truth, but a theory that could helkp explain a lot.
Well, I'm done....
By the way...this is Jared.
Re: A mystery left unsolved...
Date: 2003-09-09 05:57 pm (UTC)that's an interesting theory. however, if God made Adam and said "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him", if He was going to continue creating humans after Adam, then why bother with Eve that special way?
hmmm. that's all i got for the moment. i always have to laugh at myself when i get into debates and discussion and whatnot, because normally i don't like to particularly...but i do it anyway. haha